NFL Week One: Ballgame’s Beauties
Week One of any NFL season typically comes with a host of surprises, the unforeseeable shake-ups that increasingly boggle the mind as things play out.
Analyst T-Ballgame delivers the week’s three most alluring bets in accordance with his all-time favorite beauties:
Raquel Welch – The bombshell of the bunch, an enticing object of your gambling desires
Sophia Loren – A highly attractive proposition that arouses your bettor interest.
Salma Hayek – An intriguing wager with that “something about it” quality you find mildly irresistible.
Baltimore Ravens –3.5 @ Indianapolis Colts
Sunday, 1 p.m.
The Salma of the week features an affair riddled with question marks due to a first-year head coach (Baltimore’s Jesse Minter) and a starting quarterback (Indy’s Daniel Jones) returning from a ten-month stretch of dormancy.
In 2025, the Colts were galloping along at a 7-1 clip prior to Jones’s Achilles injury, thereby elevating doubt around the QB’s supporting cast. Jones’s epic return will no doubt feel the heat from will Raven’s newly acquired pass-rusher Trey Hendrickson.
Although Baltimore’s ailing D has seen significant upgrades, the Colts will counter with a sturdy ground gainer in Jonathan Taylor, not to mention the league’s most formidable O-line. Toss in the hometown setting and the Colts likely keep things to within a field goal.
The Bet: Colts +3.5
Miami Dolphins @ Las Vegas Raiders (O/U 40.5)
Sunday, 4:25 p.m.
The Sophia Loren of the week lands us in Las Vegas, where a sinful matchup between Kirk Cousins and Malik Willis sourly commences. While Cousins is approaching social security age, the callow Willis brings nary an ounce of starting experience to Allegiant Stadium for the hapless Fish.
The greatest threat to this AFC stinker, beyond that of utter apathy, is floundering defensive units on both side of the field. Dolphins’ first-year coach Jeff Hafley is dealt a putrid defense that ranked 22nd in 2025, while the Raiders’ rookie HC Klint Kubiak inherits a Maxx Crosby-led defense devoid of any legitimate depth.
Nonetheless, the endzone may feel more like a forbidden zone come Sunday.
The Bet: Under 40.5
Green Bay Packers @ Minnesota Vikings (O/U 46.5)
Sunday, 4:25 p.m.
With a stellar defensive front to go with ongoing quarterback issues, Minnesota looms as perhaps the league’s ultimate under team, as demonstrated in 2025’s midseason debacle. Kyler Murray assumes the reigns as the Vikes’ first-year slinger, hoping to alleviate the relentless pressure on the D. However, Murray hardly inspires more confidence than backup J.J. McCarthy.
With the Vikings’ defense (ranked third in the NFL last season) remaining largely intact, the Packers also fortified its unit with the addition of DT Javon Hargrave and LB Zaire Franklin during the offseason. With a young, untested O-line surrounding the inconsistent Jordan Love, the Raquel of the week is to wager on a relatively low-scoring affair, even with the heated division rivalry.
The Bet: Under 46.5
