NFL Week 5: Ballgame’s Beauties
As we embark upon Q2 of the 2026 campaign, the NFL universe collectively marvels on all the remaining oh’s in the current divisional standings.
In equal parts we are enamored with the four-and-oh San Francisco 49ers, the four-and-oh Kansas City Chiefs, and the four-and-oh Minnesota Vikings.
Likewise, we shudder at the reality of an oh-and-four Los Angeles Chargers, oh-and-four Houston Texans, oh-and-four Miami Dolphins, and oh-and-four Tennessee Titans. Oh, no!
Who’s oh will go in Week 5?
T-Ballgame, who bore an oh of his own last week (3-0 showing in Ballgame’s Beauties), will attempt to keep the mojo alive in the second weekend of October.
Let’s see how he fares with this week’s three most alluring bets in accordance with his all-time favorite beauties:
Raquel Welch – The bombshell of the bunch, an enticing object of your gambling desires
Sophia Loren – A highly attractive proposition that arouses your bettor interest.
Salma Hayek – An intriguing wager with that “something about it” quality you find mildly irresistible.
Tampa Bay @ Dallas, O/U 47.5 Thursday, 8:15 p.m.
Thursday night showdown’s thus far have been largely high-scoring affairs, a series of explosive showcases for its primetime (and Prime) audience. With the hapless, banged-up Bucs hobbling into Big D, this looks on paper like an opportunity for Jerry’s boys to lay a beatdown on Todd Bowles’s gang.
Consider rookie QB Jalon Daniels (filling in for the injured Baker Mayfield) will be making his second NFL start, last week tossing a pair of picks and a measly 148 yards against a dismal Packers front. The feeling here is that Bucs’ OC Zac Robinson keeps things on the ground against a Dallas defense that ranks second worst in the NFL against the run (150.3 ppg).
Partly because Dallas has yet to lay a whuppin’ on an opponent, partly because of a slow-paced Bucs offense, and partly plain old gut feeling, we’re going with the under in our Salma of the week.
The Bet: Under 47.5
Las Vegas +3.5 @ New England Sunday, 1 p.m.
The widespread assault on Drake Maye’s image was abruptly (and perhaps temporarily) halted in Sunday’s thrilling 29-26 win in Buffalo. How much can be attributed to the stellar play of his receiver corps is another matter altogether.
Nonetheless, Mike Vrabel’s crew next plays host to perhaps the greatest surprise of 2026 (thus far). While we keep waiting for Vegas to bare its sinful self, Klint Kubiak’s boys keep scampering along at an impressive pace. Despite a late bowout to Kansas City on Sunday, the 3-1 Raiders are proving they belong on the short list of AFC title contenders.
Although Vegas stunned New England in last year’s opener, will Maye & Co. be in revenge mode? Or will Maxx Crosby knock the precocious QB back down to size? In our Sophia of the week, we’re betting on the latter.
The Bet: Raiders +3.5
Baltimore @ Atlanta, O/U 44.5 Sunday, 1 p.m.
Baltimore boasts the league’s fifth most potent offense, averaging 395 total yards per game. Atlanta is not far behind piling up 360 yards per game for a tenth-place ranking. On the flipside, both teams land in the top ten in total defenses (Atlanta ranks eighth while Baltimore is tenth).
Despite a slew of quarterback issues, Michael Penix seems to have found a rhythm in successive trouncings of Green Bay and New Orleans. Averaging 40 points in their last two outings, look for the Falcons to throw the one-two punch of Penix and RB Bijan Robinson (five TDs against the Saints) at the Ravens on their home turf.
With Baltimore poised to counter with RB Derrick Henry and QB Lamar Jackson, this one reeks of the over in our Raquel of the week.
The Bet: Over 44.5
More Sexy Picks to Consider:
Cleveland Browns vs NY Jets, under 39.5 points
Jacksonville Jaguars -7 over Philadelphia Eagles
