Cover Your Ass!
- May 20
- 4 min read
Updated: May 22
Why Hedging That Sports Parlay Won’t Spoil Your Vacation
Before plunging into a spell of temporary insanity, Clark Griswold (Chevy Chase) and family traveled two-thousand miles via station wagon to hop some rollercoasters at beloved Wally World.
After surviving an onset of disasters along the holiday road (carjacking, dead dog, dead aunt ... the usual stuff), the Griswolds finally reached their own personal Promised Land in California, only to be met by an empty parking lot and a harrowing revelation.
Persevering through each nightmare scenario to come up emptyhanded (side note: Why the hell didn’t someone call the damn park beforehand to confirm they’d be open?) would be enough to trigger any regular Joe to lose his noodle.
Well, let’s say you’ve banged out your first thirteen bets of a 14-bet sports parlay. You’ve endured some mighty close calls, but you’re now one away from bagging the five-figure bonanza.
All you need is for Shai Gilgeous-Alexander to knock down 28 points against the lowly Jazz. The MVP is well on his way, ringing up 19 in the first half, and so this one feels like a sure layup.
Then, the unthinkable occurs. Nursing a 31-point lead, Mark Daigneault suddenly yanks SGA from action, favoring rest over risk. Your jaw is now scraping the hardwood, knowing SGA’s next drive will be directly to the showers.
As for that meticulously planned parlay you’ve been sweating buckets over?
The entire thing just got drained like a LaMelo Ball three.
In fact, the only thing that dropped faster was your heart into your intestines.
You wrap your head around the biting reality. The $10,000 payday you were banking on is now registered as an official loss.
As unfathomable as it may be, there’s a hard lesson to be taken from this nut-crushing ordeal:
When you’re one away, don’t piss it away.
In other words ... cover your ass!
Let’s say the initial wager on your 14-bet parlay is a fifty-spot. With a payout that adds a couple zeroes to that figure, consider hedging your final bet or two to avert an excruciating outcome.
Prior to the OKC-Utah tipoff, the smart wagerer would drop a hefty amount on the under for Gilgeous-Alexander’s 28-point O/U. Through this method, you are guaranteed to notch a profit of considerable proportions in the event SGA registers less than the O/U of 28.
Imagine a payout of five grand for the successful parlay. Is it wise to wager, say $500 on the SGA under to guarantee at least a profit of $450? Can you live with a take of $4,500 instead of the full five G’s? Most seasoned bettors would be on the affirmative side.
For the conservative wagerer, the hedging could even start directly after the 12th win in the 14-bet string. Let’s say the 13th condition of the parlay calls for Colorado’s Nathan MacKinnon to exceed five shots on goal against the Vegas Golden Knights. A quick fifty on the under would ensure a push on your parlay bid.
If MacKinnon keeps your parlay intact with seven shots on Carter Hart, you need to invest at least one-hundred on SGA to drop under 28 points, thereby secure a wash. Remember, the $150 compromise pales in comparison to the thousands you’d pocket from the parlay triumph.
Hedging your Futures bets is equally advised, as the prospect of tearing up a DraftKings slip under a one-away scenario is like cyanide to the soul.
For example, a friend of chipster hopped aboard the 2025 New England Patriots wave as early as Halloween. At +1100, the fifty-buck wager on Drake Maye to command the Pats into Super Bowl Lx promised a nifty $550 payout.
Prior to the blizzardy AFC title tile at Mile High, this fellah sunk a fifty-spot on the Bo Nix-less Broncos in order to curtail any potential losses. After watching New England sizzle through a 10-1 stretch since the initial wager, AFC Championship bowout would’ve otherwise resulted in a $50 hit. Ouch!
When the Pats nipped Denver by a 10-7 margin, he still raked in a cool $500 (as opposed to $550).
The same chap had wagered $50 for New England to hoist Lombardi silver two weeks later in Santa Clara. This bet, like the AFC Championship one, was registered in late October, catching the Pats as a +2500 longshot. Hence, he was due to pocket an additional $1,300 had Mike Vrabel’s crew pulled off the improbable at Levi’s Stadium.
With Seattle boasting a formidable front, our friend hedged his Super Bowl stake by sinking $300 on the Seahawks. His pull from a New England victory would have been reduced to $1,000, whereas a more likely Seattle victory would profit $250 and prevent a $50 loss. Combined with his AFC Championship take, he was left swimming in a nifty $750 gain.
Lesson learned?
When you’re one away, don’t piss it away.
And remember to cover your ass!
